Thursday, February 9, 2012

Birth, a life changing experience

Sometimes I am not able to post, sometimes everything just stops for me. Everything around me keeps going, but I disappear. I am a birth doula and when I go to a birth I don't know how long it will be and I definitely don't know when it will be. So, if you see me absent for a bit, that is why. Anyway, I am in the midst of this long difficult birth with a very strong and courageous mom. I have all these thoughts so I had to get them out.

Birth is an experience. One that every mother goes through. It is an experience good or bad, hard or easy, blissful and excruciating. I did change from or's to and's there didn't I? I think that was unconscious because it isn't always one or the other. The Bible says child birth will have pain, the true meaning for the word used for pain is hard work. Not to say that it will be without pain. Some may have a pain free birth some may have a very painful birth, epidural or not, emotional or physical. But every mother has a story, a story to be embraced, a story to own. Everything we go through, good or bad has a purpose. We are a result of our life experiences. We are who we are because of where we have been. 

I feel like I was so bless and lucky to have 2 wonderful birth experiences. Should I own that, yes! Should I be happy to share my birth if anyone asks me, of course. But, I have also been through some very terrible experiences, life changing experiences. I lost both my parents before I was 31. I grew up in an alcoholic home. I also feel blessed for all the good, bad and ugly. Do I own those experiences and events and did I learn from those also, of course. I still wonder what I could have done differently in any situation but it doesn't matter, there was a planned outcome that was already written. Would I exhange one good experience to bad to make another experience that was bad, good? Possibly, but probably not. I am happy with who I am and where I am to accept anything hard that I have been through of as a learning experience. Nobody can control what will go our way and what will not. I think we need to play a conciouse part in what we can control and our decisions and be ready for adjustments and what life brings us. 

So, for every mom out there, own your birth experience. If you had a wonderful planned c-section, if you had an emergency c-section, if you had a complicated scary labor, if you had a beautiful labor, share those experiences it is yours and only yours. Be proud of who you are and the choice you made or had to make. Life is hard, labor is hard! Life is also wonderful and labor is wonderful. Share those experiences and learn from them. Morn an experience when you need to, process it, learn from it and embrace it. It is part of you. Being a mom starts the day of conception, not after you see that baby's face. We are all different and whats best for each and every one of us is different.

I have no idea how this current birth will end, but even though hard, scary and madding at times, it is an amazing journey of one couragous women. I am blessed to be a part of it.

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